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Fiction
The Fireside Tales - Chapter Four
Mar 4th 2015
Chapter Four: The Desecrated Vault
"The result of a goblin raid is almost never good. They burn buildings. They kill animals. They wreak havoc on food storages. But they are all cowards. Unless they take mellowroot, they will run when they realize how precarious their situation is. So, if you are attacked, let them know that you are the bigger force and in control. And if they do damage, make sure that you respond in such a way that they will never bother you again."
It was a rough day for the citizens of Sandpoint. Goblin corpses were scattered all over Sandpoint's town square and the north gate, but the people could breathe a sigh of relief that none of the citizens died, and that those with serious injuries would keep living. Those that could work started making fires and throwing the corpses into them letting the purification of the flames flow over the tainted creatures. The sun rose back into the sky onto fires still burning, and citizens started to walk back home, praising the new "heroes of Sandpoint" as they passed.
Fiction
RCM Fanfic - Agents of ARACHNOS, Ep. 2
Feb 25th 2015
Episode 2 - Not All Is As It Seems
"Oh, blithery poop, my cowardly lobster. You don't need courage. After all, who needs courage when you have a gun?"
-Professor Hubert J. Farnsworth, Futurama
Fiction
The Fireside Tales - Chapter Three
Feb 18th 2015
Chapter Three: Die Dog, Die!
"Scholars have never gotten the answer to why goblins hate dogs with such passion. Some think that it is hardwired in their brains, like a dog's desire to chase cats. Others say that it might be related to the fact that goblins have rodent-like creatures called 'goblin dogs,' saying that goblins may think that dogs are pale imitations of the goblin dog. They could just be driven by fear to hate dogs. Whatever the reason, if goblins are attacking, they will go for dogs before any human."
The three companions arrived at the north gate to see that the battle had indeed moved here. Guards were all over fending off the lunatic goblins at the edges of the area and nearby buildings were starting to catch on fire. However, there was no one at the actual gate except for a mounted goblin, a cowering noble, and a dog.
Fiction
RCM Fanfic - Agents of ARACHNOS, Ep. 1
Feb 14th 2015
The Agents of ARACHNOS
Episode 1: The Beginning
"Begin at the beginning," the King said, very gravely, "and go on till you come to the end: then stop."
Fiction
The Fireside Tales - Chapter Two
Feb 4th 2015
Chapter Two: Goblin Raid
"Goblins are small creatures that love only a few things in life: fire, food, singing and raiding. Though they are generally unintelligent, they are still dangerous for the fact that they can hide in ways that we still have yet to figure out, and that they have no care for what or who they kill. Their hatred of dogs and horses are evident in their behavior. They live in tribes, but never seem to work together."
Valtyra pulled her rapier out of its sheath as a small creature ran right by her and tackled a dog to the ground. She turned away so she could not see the blade move across the dog's skin. Where her head ended up looking showed her little promise for the survival of Sandpoint: she stared right at a line of goblins running toward the square from a covered wagon down High Street to the south. They numbered in the multiple dozens and they were all screaming and yelling in pure joy as the half-elf started hearing what could only barely be considered a song from all sides.
Fiction
RCM Fanfic - Da Bark Lurd Saga Episode 14: The Finale
Jan 31st 2015
Episode 14: The Finale
Parker Bennett had been careful to keep a safe but steady distance from the Mini as he followed the Baroness down the I-80 corridor and onward into the Ohioan countryside. The monitor on his dash showed that the jamming signal was working; his main complaint was that the girl, like most Yanks, seemed to have no regard for the posted speed limits. Every time she disappeared from his line of sight for a period of time, the out-of-range warning chime on the anti-detonation device activated, forcing him to speed up to catch her. By the time he would, they would consistently be entering yet another of the endless small towns along the route; twice he'd nearly rear ended her as he rushed around a curve to an unseen traffic light. At the final village before the turn-off to the compound, he was sure he'd been made – at the light, her questioning blue eyes had checked him over from her rearview mirror – but by then his map had shown they were close enough that he could let her move ahead to their final destination without his having to tail too closely.
He pulled off the main motorway and eased his blue sedan behind a grove of trees, just in time to see the Baroness leave the Mini next to a large black Hummer and head toward the building. Bennett smiled to himself – the girl had moxie, he'd give her that. He wasn't sure exactly what she expected to accomplish once she got inside the old warehouse, as he noticed she took no weapon in her haste to reach her friends. However, he was beginning to understand why Hax liked her, in spite of her Americanisms.
Fiction
RCM Fanfic - Varyar: Da Bark Lurd Saga Episode 13
Jan 24th 2015
Episode 13, in which Rivalcast shows exactly what they're made of.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!"
From her perch on the catwalk, Umamor screamed as she saw the trip line just before Varyar fell. As she watched him crash to the ground with the army of deranged dolls led by Elmo closing in, time slowed to a stop. Looking about her, she could see Killer's mouth frozen open in surprise; Hax dropping his phone as he leapt up, gun in hand; Arnold tossing his Desert Eagle back behind him as he switched to his Sagat 12-guage; the blast from Lyserg's shotgun suspended in a cloud of brilliant orange fire ringed with blue smoke. Across from her, Vampy's pose showed awareness of the evil puppet behind her, though she hadn't yet turned to face it. Below, Edge was still looking up at Bio on the catwalk, who in turn had just touched the handrail as he leaned to peer over at his friends.
Fiction
The Fireside Tales - Chapter One
Jan 21st 2015
Chapter One: The Swallowtail Festival
"For five years, the faithful of Sandpoint have attended church in temporary structures erected after a fire destroyed the previous temple. The Late Unpleasantness took from the people of Sandpoint friends, family, and possibly, their hope. However, they have stayed, despite the physical and emotional anguish, and they have kept their faith as a new temple was built. Five years after The Late Unpleasantness and the citizens of Sandpoint's faith was rewarded as the new temple, built to worship many gods, was completed. And now a festival was organized to consecrate the new temple."
Valtyra ran these thoughts through her mind as she sat on the bench near a food vendor. She watched as more and more people arrived to the small town of Sandpoint, joyous and excited for the festival. The half-elf looked up at the building across the square from her.
Fiction
RCM Fanfic - Varyar: Da Bark Lurd Saga Episode 12
Jan 17th 2015
Episode 12, in which HOLY SHIT THINGS JUST GOT REAL.
Hax had just finished slipping the silencer onto his Walther when Killer disappeared into the compound, followed by Varyar, Edge, Arnold, Vampy, and Lyserg. He took another scan of the fields surrounding them – there was a change in the air, something he couldn't quite put his finger on, and he didn't like it. He saw nothing, but kept his guard up as he backed up to the door and followed his friends inside.
It took a moment for his eyes to adjust to the darkness of the cavernous room, the first of what the plans showed to be a virtual labyrinth of sets and storage areas comprising the old studio. There was a partial wall separating the entry area from the main soundstage, connected by an elaborate network of catwalks high above their heads. This could prove a liability if Da Bark Lurd's followers were able to take the higher vantage point, but Hax had more faith in Vampy's skill with the Barrett 50 than he did in some of the top snipers for MI6. As the others made sure the area was clear, he could see her and Lyserg scanning for the ideal spot to set up her "Vampy-hole" as they quietly made their way over to a rusty access ladder.
Fiction
RCM Fanfic - Varyar: Da Bark Lurd Saga Episode 11
Jan 11th 2015
EPISODE 11 – in which YES VARYAR WE GET TO THE HEROICS!
Bio shuffled listlessly about the cell, trying hard to think of something other than the horrible song playing through his mind on a loop. These animals had forced him to edit his own hostage video, eaten an entire bag of Cadbury Minis in front of him without sharing, and then forced him into a frigid cell where they piped the "Elmo's World" song at him for an hour straight. He'd begged Elmo to shoot him at that point, to which the furry monster just laughed. "Elmo doesn't like guns. Elmo likes to look in the enemy's eyes when delivering Elmo's vengeance."
The maniacal laughter nearly did him in.