EPISODE 4 - in which the plot thickens
Although he was an international superstar used to wealth and privilege, Arnold was impressed with the bachelor pad Varyar had constructed. It was comfortable without being feminine, well-stocked with weaponry but not so much that it looked like an extremist compound. It was a good balance, and pleasing to the eye. He wasnâ€™t entirely sure what to make of the legions of Internet fans waiting eagerly for Varyarâ€™s arrival â€" hordes of scantily clad women would have made more sense to him â€" but he had to appreciate the usefulness of having both a high-quality telecommunications setup in the house and a worldwide network of tech-savvy allies at their immediate disposal.
To Arnold, crushing his enemiesâ€™ skulls with his bare hands was easy; deciphering the gibberish that was Tara Gilesbieâ€™s epic saga made him want to crush his own skull. Fortunately, this Highlander fellow had sketched out a rough outline of the most important plot points â€" who was and was not a poser or a prep, a chronological listing of each character whom Snoop had raped, all the way up to the revelation that Enoby with her magnificent bobs was pregnant with Da Bark Lurd. Some of the intel seemed questionable; Arnold had personally met Albus Dumbledore once in the â€~70s and had a hard time picturing him screaming â€œmotherfuckersâ€ at a couple of whiney teenagers as reported in chapter 4, not to mention he had it on good authority that Draco was in fact dating Mary Sue. However, other passages, such as da Bark Lurdâ€™s propensity for organizing and promoting concerts where he and his Death Dealers posed as members of My Chemical Romance, were frighteningly accurate.