RCM Fanfic - Varyar: Da Bark Lurd Saga Episode 5
EPISODE 5, in which Varyar rallies his troops and shows why HE is the goddamned leader at RCM!

For a moment, Varyar thought he was dead. The explosion had been deafening, which made the silence that followed exceptionally stark. Unable to even blink, he watched as the flakes of ash fluttered against the night sky like snowflakes from Hell. Gradually, he became aware of an aching in his chest, his lungs burning with their plea to be given oxygen once more. In an instant, the initial shock wore off and he closed his eyes, gulping air into his harassed lungs as he assessed his bodily damage. Toes wiggle? Check. Fingers? Check. Raise arms? Check and check. Slowly he worked his way up to a sitting position and, feeling no breaks, attempted to stand. Silent no more, the ringing in his ears was nearly unbearable as equilibrium struggled to right itself, but Varyar knew that would pass in time. Thankful there didn’t appear to be any major damage, he stumbled through the wreckage of his home in search of Arnold.

As the dust slowly settled, Varyar heard a soft but manly groan coming from the darkness. Following the sound, he almost tripped into the hole that once served as his house’s foundation. Below, in the remains of the moonlight, he saw Arnold pinned under a support joist. “Get me out of here,†Arnold called up. Thankfully, the stairs that led to the basement remained intact after the blast, and Varyar was able to quickly get to his fallen comrade and carefully move the debris.

Arnold, too, was fortunate not to have suffered any serious injury, and quickly resumed his angry demeanor. Assessing the scene, he pointed at the remnants of Varyar’s furnace. “Da blast originated from dere. Dis vas no accident,†Arnold growled. “Dis stinks of da Bark Lurd’s doing.â€

“Well fuck. And I’d been tinkering with that goddamn thing for weeks.â€

Arnold’s eyes narrowed. “Eef he vanted us dead, ve’d be toast. No, da Bark Lurd has some reason for keeping us alive…for now. Quickly. We must find vat he has done with your Bio friend.â€

Varyar nodded. “If anyone can track Bio down, it’s going to be Hax.â€


“I have no bloody idea where Bio could be.â€

Even with his posh accent, Hax was clearly frustrated. Leaving his talk stream open as he violently punched at his keyboard one more time, he sighed and reached to pour his fourth cup of tea. Hacking into Bio’s computer remotely was the easy part, mainly because Bio had left all but one password listed in the Rivalcast user archives. Quite convenient. But what was left on the machine was making no sense. The only information he was able to pull up was an audio clip from a campaign commercial Bio had edited a few months prior: What should Elmo do? What should Elmo DO? “I’m sorry,†Hax apologized in his maddeningly polite way, “but I can’t do anything else remotely.â€

On the other side of the Atlantic, Varyar was using every bit of Marine training he had to force himself to remain calm. Panicked minds get people killed, and he’d be damned if he let one of his team go down because of some asshole web-trolling terrorist got the better of him. “Alright. How long would it take you to get over here?â€

“If I left tonight?†Varyar heard Hax type something, then the clink of the tea cup hitting the porcelain saucer. “Well, Heathrow has a KLM to Amsterdam, where I could connect with Royal Dutch to cross over to New York…that would take…â€

“Goddamn it,†Varyar snapped, “stop with your English sensibilities and find a direct to Cleveland. Put it on the RivalCard. This is America and I don’t give a shit what it costs. Baroness will pick you up at the airport and we’ll rendezvous at the Rivalcast headquarters after you arrive. Meanwhile, Arnold and I will take the chopper to Bio’s house and see what clues we can find. I will be goddamned if some fucking fucker takes MY people and fucks with MY shows. Of all the fuckity fucking…â€

Hax sighed again. “You know, you have a lot of creative uses for the word â€~fuck.’â€

“Yeah, I know. â€~Fuckamabob’ is my favorite. Now give Baroness your flight itinerary so she’s not bitching about having to park at Hopkins and let’s MOVE.â€

Thoughts? Comments? Hate mail? Get the conversation started on the comments thread below or @BaronessvGosu on the Tweeter

Crap, what happened last time? On to the next episode
Comment thread »
So this is a documentary on Varyar's life and day to day running of the station right? ;)
"Use the Rival Card" lol. Oh that was good.

You're missing a contact for Bio. You need to find Elmo, and as we all know, Elmo stalks Umamor -- who also happens to be his high priestess.