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Da Bark Lurd Saga
Fiction
RCM Fanfic - Da Bark Lurd Saga Episode 14: The Finale
Jan 31st 2015
Episode 14: The Finale
Parker Bennett had been careful to keep a safe but steady distance from the Mini as he followed the Baroness down the I-80 corridor and onward into the Ohioan countryside. The monitor on his dash showed that the jamming signal was working; his main complaint was that the girl, like most Yanks, seemed to have no regard for the posted speed limits. Every time she disappeared from his line of sight for a period of time, the out-of-range warning chime on the anti-detonation device activated, forcing him to speed up to catch her. By the time he would, they would consistently be entering yet another of the endless small towns along the route; twice he'd nearly rear ended her as he rushed around a curve to an unseen traffic light. At the final village before the turn-off to the compound, he was sure he'd been made – at the light, her questioning blue eyes had checked him over from her rearview mirror – but by then his map had shown they were close enough that he could let her move ahead to their final destination without his having to tail too closely.
He pulled off the main motorway and eased his blue sedan behind a grove of trees, just in time to see the Baroness leave the Mini next to a large black Hummer and head toward the building. Bennett smiled to himself – the girl had moxie, he'd give her that. He wasn't sure exactly what she expected to accomplish once she got inside the old warehouse, as he noticed she took no weapon in her haste to reach her friends. However, he was beginning to understand why Hax liked her, in spite of her Americanisms.
Fiction
RCM Fanfic - Varyar: Da Bark Lurd Saga Episode 13
Jan 24th 2015
Episode 13, in which Rivalcast shows exactly what they're made of.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!"
From her perch on the catwalk, Umamor screamed as she saw the trip line just before Varyar fell. As she watched him crash to the ground with the army of deranged dolls led by Elmo closing in, time slowed to a stop. Looking about her, she could see Killer's mouth frozen open in surprise; Hax dropping his phone as he leapt up, gun in hand; Arnold tossing his Desert Eagle back behind him as he switched to his Sagat 12-guage; the blast from Lyserg's shotgun suspended in a cloud of brilliant orange fire ringed with blue smoke. Across from her, Vampy's pose showed awareness of the evil puppet behind her, though she hadn't yet turned to face it. Below, Edge was still looking up at Bio on the catwalk, who in turn had just touched the handrail as he leaned to peer over at his friends.
Fiction
RCM Fanfic - Varyar: Da Bark Lurd Saga Episode 12
Jan 17th 2015
Episode 12, in which HOLY SHIT THINGS JUST GOT REAL.
Hax had just finished slipping the silencer onto his Walther when Killer disappeared into the compound, followed by Varyar, Edge, Arnold, Vampy, and Lyserg. He took another scan of the fields surrounding them – there was a change in the air, something he couldn't quite put his finger on, and he didn't like it. He saw nothing, but kept his guard up as he backed up to the door and followed his friends inside.
It took a moment for his eyes to adjust to the darkness of the cavernous room, the first of what the plans showed to be a virtual labyrinth of sets and storage areas comprising the old studio. There was a partial wall separating the entry area from the main soundstage, connected by an elaborate network of catwalks high above their heads. This could prove a liability if Da Bark Lurd's followers were able to take the higher vantage point, but Hax had more faith in Vampy's skill with the Barrett 50 than he did in some of the top snipers for MI6. As the others made sure the area was clear, he could see her and Lyserg scanning for the ideal spot to set up her "Vampy-hole" as they quietly made their way over to a rusty access ladder.
Fiction
RCM Fanfic - Varyar: Da Bark Lurd Saga Episode 11
Jan 11th 2015
EPISODE 11 – in which YES VARYAR WE GET TO THE HEROICS!
Bio shuffled listlessly about the cell, trying hard to think of something other than the horrible song playing through his mind on a loop. These animals had forced him to edit his own hostage video, eaten an entire bag of Cadbury Minis in front of him without sharing, and then forced him into a frigid cell where they piped the "Elmo's World" song at him for an hour straight. He'd begged Elmo to shoot him at that point, to which the furry monster just laughed. "Elmo doesn't like guns. Elmo likes to look in the enemy's eyes when delivering Elmo's vengeance."
The maniacal laughter nearly did him in.
Fiction
RCM Fanfic - Varyar: Da Bark Lurd Saga Episode 10
Jan 11th 2015
EPISODE 10 – in which we are almost to the heroics! Oh, and there are more revelations (at Killer's expense)
"You're not going."
"Edge..."
Fiction
RCM Fanfic - Varyar: Da Bark Lurd Saga Episode 9
Dec 27th 2014
EPISODE 9 - in which the team is shaken
From her seat in the shadows of the auditorium, Umamor had a clear view of Bio wriggling around on the floor as Elmo approached. It wasn't supposed to be like this. Yeah, Bio had run his mouth and sided with the Baroness, but it pained her to see him at the mercy of a cult – even if it was a cult she had a high rank in. Hearing the maniacal cackle of the red puppet dancing just offstage, Uma rose and swept across the sound stage, heels clacking as her ceremonial robes trailed behind her. This would not stand.
She was the one who had brought Elmo to power, after all: it was her séance, her Ouija board that summoned the spirit of Elmo to her circle. What the hell did Baron know, anyway, telling her to stay away from the tools she needed to bring her Lord of Terror back to the earthly plane? To see the life heave into that furry chest, the ping-pong eyes flutter to alertness, seemed to her to be almost like bringing a child into the world. She loved this creature she had given life to. Even when he started hanging out with shady characters like Mr. Noodle, Uma loved watching him grow these past few months into the unholy devil she knew he was meant to be.
Fiction
RCM Fanfic - Varyar: Da Bark Lurd Saga Episode 8
Dec 20th 2014
EPISODE 8 – in which...revelations.
While the rest of the house dozed, Baroness sat in the darkness, watching the early gray light of the dawn creep through the windows. She hadn't slept all night. Edge's words from earlier echoed in her mind: He'll be dead soon if we don't figure out how to rescue him. And it was her fault. She was the one, not Bio, who'd opened her mouth on the air about the Cult of Sesame Street. She was the one who responded to threats with a flippant come-and-get-it attitude. She was the one who decided to take a stand by poking the bear, and it was she, not Bio, who should be God-knows-where facing the consequences of those actions. Restless, she hugged her pink bathrobe about her to ward off the morning's chill and slipped out of the warm bed, doing her best not to disturb the sleeping Baron snoring quietly beside her. She crept silently past the guest rooms containing her dozing friends and down the stairs, through the darkened living room, and down a second set of stairs leading to her workshop.
She sank into her desk chair, a click of the lamp illuminating the photos on the wall. One was a snapshot of herself, Baron, and Varyar at the first Orbfest; Baroness smiled at the memory of how the team came together that night to pull off the event, in spite of numerous technical issues and the ever-present threat of banjo-wielding hillbillies migrating down from the hills. Another was of her and Vampy dressed to the nines for RCM's first Webby Awards ceremony, with Killer photobombing in the background. A third, one of her favorites, was of Edge, Bio, and Varyar at the same awards event, all dressed in black-tie formal. In it, Edge gave a sly grin as he flipped off the camera while the other two stood laughing, Bio's facepalm covering his eyes while Varyar hung his head.
Fiction
RCM Fanfic - Varyar: Da Bark Lurd Saga Episode 7
Dec 13th 2014
EPISODE 7, in which you'd better go to the bathroom before reading because a LOT of stuff happens
*****
With a quiet groan, Bio finally started to come to. The back of his head was throbbing like he'd been hit with a bat or something. He tried to raise his hand to his head, but it wasn't until he felt the ropes tying his wrists to the chair that he struggled to open his eyes. The room was sideways – no, wait, he realized, he was sideways. Sideways and lying against a cold cement floor while tied to a chair. At some point his glasses had slid off, so the room surrounding him had a blurry, dream-like feel. Where was he? How did he get there? As he squinted into the dim lighting, trying to pick out some object, anything to help him get his bearings. He tried to think through the pain to the last thing he remembered.
Fiction
RCM Fanfic - Varyar: Da Bark Lurd Saga Episode 6
Dec 7th 2014
EPISODE 6 in which THE CAVALRY ARRIVE!
Hax adjusted the button of his suit jacket and debated whether to don his overcoat before leaving the terminal. It was difficult to gauge the temperature outside. Half of the people he'd encountered since exiting the plane were dressed in shorts and tee-shirts, while the other half bundled up in parkas and stiletto heels.
I'm not sure I'll ever understand Americans, he thought.
Fiction
RCM Fanfic - Varyar: Da Bark Lurd Saga Episode 5
Dec 2nd 2014
EPISODE 5, in which Varyar rallies his troops and shows why HE is the goddamned leader at RCM!
For a moment, Varyar thought he was dead. The explosion had been deafening, which made the silence that followed exceptionally stark. Unable to even blink, he watched as the flakes of ash fluttered against the night sky like snowflakes from Hell. Gradually, he became aware of an aching in his chest, his lungs burning with their plea to be given oxygen once more. In an instant, the initial shock wore off and he closed his eyes, gulping air into his harassed lungs as he assessed his bodily damage. Toes wiggle? Check. Fingers? Check. Raise arms? Check and check. Slowly he worked his way up to a sitting position and, feeling no breaks, attempted to stand. Silent no more, the ringing in his ears was nearly unbearable as equilibrium struggled to right itself, but Varyar knew that would pass in time. Thankful there didn't appear to be any major damage, he stumbled through the wreckage of his home in search of Arnold.
As the dust slowly settled, Varyar heard a soft but manly groan coming from the darkness. Following the sound, he almost tripped into the hole that once served as his house's foundation. Below, in the remains of the moonlight, he saw Arnold pinned under a support joist. "Get me out of here," Arnold called up. Thankfully, the stairs that led to the basement remained intact after the blast, and Varyar was able to quickly get to his fallen comrade and carefully move the debris.