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The Accidental Podcaster: Resolutions
I don't believe in New Year's resolutions. That isn't the same as saying I don't believe in reflection and taking steps to better oneself; far from it. I'm just the type that does that sort of reflection throughout the year and then sets immediate timelines for working towards those goals, for until action is taken, those resolutions are nothing more than wishful thinking. More than that, New Year's resolutions in particular have a reputation for failure. Maybe it's the over-optimism of a clean calendar that makes us opt for vague or lofty goals - the "I wanna lose weight and get healthy" folks vs the "I'm gonna get up every day at 5 AM in the dead of winter when everyone else is hibernating and go do an hour of cardio at the gym around the corner three days a week" people. The ones who, a few days in, adapt that goal to "well, two days a week works" and then "Ah, I'll get there Friday for sure" and finally "But...but it's the WEEKEND!"

Waah. There's a reason people in the sporting goods industry refer to March as the Parade of New Year's Failure.

Every so often you hear of a rare success story, but this is usually someone who has a specific and attainable goal in mind. "I will set aside one hour every Sunday to chat with a friend I haven't seen in a while." "By the end of January, I will clear out the hall closet that has been jammed shut since 1997." "To start eating healthier, I am going to start packing my lunch the night before work so I'm not grabbing junk on the go." Things that are specific and attainable. Small steps that actually lead to change being made and progress toward a larger goal, rather than setting yourself up with a daunting task that seems easy after that third glass of champagne New Year's Eve but come a month later just turns into one more disappointment.

"Disappointment" has been a big word in my mind the past few weeks. "Exhaustion" is another. Why I persist on telling myself I will get any major project accomplished between the week of Thanksgiving until the week after New Year's is beyond my comprehension, yet every time I convince myself that "Oh, you'll have X time off, you'll be able to get Y, Z, W, and Q done, caught up on L, and work ahead on B, C, and D! This will be fun!"

No. No it will not.

Because while I'm thinking of my overly ambitious YZWQLBCD list, I will conveniently forget that these things are being planned for cold and flu season, in the middle of winter when lack of sunlight makes everyone sleepy and want to hibernate, also in the throng of holiday preparation which consists of an equally ambitious task list of projects all its own, and because everyone else is also in the middle of their own holiday crisis, any task is going to take at least twice as long to complete, if not longer. Tensions will be high. I will be frequently reminded why I'm on blood pressure medication. I will also be frequently reminded, usually in the form of Facebook pokes from my mother, that this is the time of year to be FESTIVE and JOLLY and OMG I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHERE YOU GET THIS HOLI-HOSTILITY FROM HERE go pour yourself a glass or several of CHRISTMAS SPIRITS and also EAT THESE COOKIES IT WILL MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER.

Which brings us back to the drunken revelers pledging oaths on New Year's about forsaking the cookies, because really, I know I'm not the only one going through this.

I did, however, in spite of my grumbling otherwise on our New Year's Eve broadcast, make a non-New-Year's resolution for myself: I'm scaling my RCM projects back to a more manageable workload and getting ready to hand off certain things to others. I kinda have to at this point. AP will remain largely unaffected because it's my accountability piece and forces me to be honest with myself. Rogue Agent is on hiatus for a while because I won't rush out something that isn't the level of awesome I know it can and should be - the story in my head is bigger and better than that, and deserves to be given time and respect. RivalCon prep is about to start gearing up again, and now that I have a handle on timeframes and costs and whatnot, I can start delegating out without worrying about not having answers when I inevitably get questions. In trade, I'll be able to do a better job on the projects I do work on, sleep at night, maybe re-achieve balance in the Force, who knows? But burn-out is real, and I can't expect to keep going at the pace I was without catastrophe striking. Focus on quality, not quantity. Always focus on quality. Once you have the quality down, THEN you can start worrying about expanding at a sustainable rate.

Breathe in, breathe out.

We got this.

*****

WHAT I'M CURRENTLY READING: Howard Blum, The Last Goodnight: A World War II Story of Espionage, Adventure, and Betrayal
THINGS I'M LISTENING TO ON REPEAT: Corinne Bailey Rae, Choux Pastry Heart
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